Cat_Enigma's Litterbox

The fall gets nearer every day and the Fall school semester comes with it, I thought I was prepared but the closer it gets the more anxious I get which says I'm not ready at all. I have all the things I need when it comes to school supplies and a route there but my brain just can't cope. I'm excited to finally start on my Bachelors Degree in History and to meet new people and experience the University life. It's just the finding my way around that's nerve racking, I hate being late to anything important. With my learning being one of the most important things in my life it scares me to think I might miss a class or even be late. I assume the anxiety will pass after the first few days in the semester so I haven't panicked just yet, I'll save those for midterms and finals week. Yes I reserve my most dramatic reactions for things I feel deserve them, I know it sounds strange but you can't just waste them on something like a missing sock. I don't really ...

As hoped my days have gotten better little by little, the sun has started to shine, and all the other corny ways to say it got better. I would like to say that it's a change that will stick around but lets be real, you never know when it's gonna happen it just does. Depression... I've never really said it to the public but I think it's time I did. Yes I have depression, yes my quirky remarks and jokes are my way of hiding the fact that it's always there. I try to make others laugh in hopes that their genuine happiness will maybe come my way and make me feel a little less useless. I know, that seems a bit excessive but come on if you know me you know everything I do is "extra" even my depression. The thing most people don't really get about me is that I deal with my depression everyday it's just some days are worse than others. Yes I've tried medication but the only thing it did was make me irrational and overly emotional, which if you do know m...

Do you ever have one of those days that starts off amazingly then all of a sudden you get hit with a bad mood? Well for me it's one of those days, and I seriously just don't want to be anywhere but home alone. One of those days where you're so over it all you want is solitude and quiet, then someone precedes to tell you about their issues and you honestly couldn't give a rats ass about their issues. What I really hate is when someone who clearly knows you're trying to lose weight decides to tell you how little they ate today. Really? It must be fucking nice to eat so little and not want to eat again 2 hours later. They tell you not to be mean but because they feel as though you could help, but honestly there's nothing anyone can do about your eating habits but you. If you're not hungry then don't eat, no one can force you to eat when you don't want to. All I want is to be left alone to my own devices and not have someone talk to me about their proble...

Awful are the mornings when you wake because your body simply can't hold your pee in any longer no matter how still you lay. Then you look at your clock/watch and see you could've had 15 minutes more before the alarm went off, so instantly your day is off to a rough start. Unlike most a cup of coffee in the morning wont do, I have to have an excessive amount of caffeine or suffer the headaches of withdrawal. I know this seems exaggerated but if you were my brain you'd probably want to die, it's like a caffeine hangover. Yes I tend to be overly expressive in my hatred of things but I really really hate summer... The temperature goes up dramatically and thus so does my electric bill, and Gods know I don't make butt loads of money to pay these without stressing about how I'll survive the next week. I manage but it never fails to stress me to the point of panic, before the bright side shows it's face in an almost mocking way. Don't misunderstand, I appreciat...

   Someone seriously tell me why the hell some men cannot accept no. You tell them they're not your type or you're just not interested and they don't get it. Like I'm not playing "hard to get" I literally don't want you and that's all there is to it. What's worse is that more than a few will offer to buy you things or do "freaky" sex things to you as if that would suddenly make them your type. For one how dare they think every woman would be so superficial, like just because you "have money" doesn't make you more attractive. Yes there are women who would prefer a man with more money for a sense of security and to be spoiled, and I have no problem with them get that money girl! But for someone to think that it would make a person (they don't even know) suddenly attracted to them is a joke. If a person says they're not interested just leave them alone, accept the fact that you're not their type and carry on with yo...

   It feels as though I can never write as often as I'd like, every blog post tends to have the same title with a different subject. As does this one I'm writing at this very moment, every time I have a chance to write it seems to be years later from the last. I'd like to think that perhaps I've gotten busy with "life" or the world around me. But lets be serious, I don't have much going on other than work and reading. You may be thinking "don't you have a significant other?" or "you're young you should be having fun". In reality I don't lead the life of someone my age, I work often so I can barely afford a place to live.    So "having fun" isn't an option because it all costs money, even dating costs money. I know most think a man should pay but I wasn't raised to be "taken care of" I was raised so that I knew how to stand on my own two feet. So I choose to be equal and pay for my share. If a man...