Cat_Enigma's Litterbox

So, in class it has been assigned that we create our own writings based on the genre of Edgar Allan poe, my idol of course. I consider it a treat for myself being able to show off my skill in goth writting, which I have chosen to make a poem. Which coincidentaly I had wrote a poem the day before it was asigned which I of course tributed to Sir Poe. I do indeed feel I have an upper hand at this work for I do it often when inspired to, and it should not be too difficult to be inspired by this man. But the other day past I and a friend were discussing the issue of God and the devil, which I obviously consider very interesting indeed. I told her of my long exsisting confusion on the subject and also things that happen in my life that make no sense, such as often when I'm alone I feel as if someone were tring to touch or grab me. But it was not just any type of touch it was a burning touch,hot and what she said to me was that it could possibly be the devil trying to win my devotion and ...

It's completely impossible to find the one thing you wish you could have, love it's not like you're desperate its that you can't help but notice everyone else in love. I have tried multiple times to find love and have never come anywhere close to it at all, but only in my dreams does it find me. Yes, in my dreams the only place where it feels right but when you feel it in your dreams it then seems like noones good enough. Good enough to make you fall head over heels for them, because they never make you feel the way you wish you could feel. Some of us try to force it we're so desperate to find it, and yet we end up with what we don't want and we know it. See I believe the only feelings that stayed with me were the bad ones although some I do love others I wish would just go away like the rest. See being in love should not be just about looks or sex, it should be when they make you weak in the knees every time you see them. They don't even have to say a word ...

You know I've taken alot of exams in my time but never has one been so easy as the one I took today. Here I was thinking they couldn't possibly get any more ridiculous until today when I was proven very wrong. You'd think they only made exams for "important things" but they just make no sense really. It's not like with the exam they can really see what kind of intelligent person someone is just by looking at a score from a test. Is this really what the world is coming to? I suppose next they'll be giving an exam to men based on their knowledge of sex and whoever recieves the highest score is best at sex. I mean really, why can't they just have an interview like the old days. But of course it really isn't my decision now is it? But eventually children just give up and scrible in whatever answer they want why because it's a stupid pice of paper that wastes their time. Time in which they could be catching up on work or asking a teacher for help on...

I've come to the conclusion that I really just don't give a damn,it makes no sense anylonger. As hard as I've tried to care about peoples problems it is no use because I still couldn't care less. Yes I know how cruel, but honesty is generosity and it makes life so much easier. So no I don't give a damn about your pain nor your suffering whether your family or not I generally don't care. Nor will I ever care the only things I've come to care for are the books in which I read or buy. If you haven't figured out by now yes I had a horible childhood and thus have lost most of my emotions. Now you may be thinking "how is that possible?" well trust me it is I of all people should know its like I've had all my sensitive girl emotions riped out of my skull. Now if you ask my family of course they will tell you I had the greatest childhood in the world, except for the fact that they don't know a damn thing about my childhood. You see they were no...

She was born the day I finally decided that I was tired of being kind to those who did not deserve it. She became my alter-ego at first, the person I would become when I wrote because she was not afraid to speak her mind about anything or often anyone. But then as I started to realize that I enjoyed being the horrible person that she was and so I let her take over completely. I let her personality become the only one I had, letting the darkness spread through my veins and it felt good. It was then that I became what I so helplessly desired, the corrupted soul. Yes, I wasn't sure at first if it was the best thing to do I was so scared of being judged and ending up in hell. But as I've come to question is hell really what it's described as in the bibles?, or is it just a way to scare people into doing things the church wishes of them. I may never know and now I could care less, for I am as faithless as any other gothic. Yes, you've read it correctly Gothic and no I am not...

It was about five years ago when it all started,I was about twelve to be exact when I started to feel this way. The feeling of self loathing, depression, and the forever growing lonliness. I thought there would never be an end to this feeling, and I hated it. Now I have always been fascinated with vampires I've always loved everything about them. So when I first recieved my own vampire book I was extremely ecstatic about it. When I read this book I started to see things in a different light and I liked it. Everything changed I didn't feel alone anymore, I had a place where I could go to get away from the life I knew I hated. And so, I bought more books about them, I wanted to know everything about them, read every book ever written about them I was so entranced by them. It was as if I went away when I read my books I couldn't wait to get home close myself in my room or as my ex-psychiatrist once said my coffin and read. So then I collected more and more books, books about v...