The War to Find It

It's completely impossible to find the one thing you wish you could have, love it's not like you're desperate its that you can't help but notice everyone else in love. I have tried multiple times to find love and have never come anywhere close to it at all, but only in my dreams does it find me. Yes, in my dreams the only place where it feels right but when you feel it in your dreams it then seems like noones good enough. Good enough to make you fall head over heels for them, because they never make you feel the way you wish you could feel. Some of us try to force it we're so desperate to find it, and yet we end up with what we don't want and we know it. See I believe the only feelings that stayed with me were the bad ones although some I do love others I wish would just go away like the rest. See being in love should not be just about looks or sex, it should be when they make you weak in the knees every time you see them. They don't even have to say a word to you when they walk into the room and yet your heart starts to race like it was going for the gold. But when they look at you your heart jump up your throat and you can't help but smile even after years of knowing eachother. It shouldn't be about how well their makeout skills are or even how hot they look without their shirt, it should be based on what you feel inside. You see unlike some people I have yet to find this person and most times I wish I didn't feel this way but of course "all things happen for a reason" which I actually believe is somewhat true, but I mean the whole idea that god plans our lives out before were even born. Yeah I don't think I really believe in that stuff, personally I really actually believe he doesn't really care much just as long as we live our lives right. I don't think we need to live our life how the bible says it should be, I mean if the bible says God is so great I doubt he'll think being gay or sraight makes a difference. He should accept us as we are right? and besides who the hell wrote the bible and why are there so many things missing in it of course I never read it (got bored). So who's to say what's right or wrong and if God hasn't smited anyone yet for being gay then whats the big idea. But anywho I believe that people who think their in love should really think before makeingout in front of friends , think about how they feel when you do that. Although I've tried to find the one I have given up the search and decided to let him find me. Shure it might not be for a long while but if things are really meant to happen that way they will. I've had a tough battle I might have won if I cared more but I guess just forgetting about it was best in my case of course. And so as the night grows closer dear I sing to those far and near if thow dost hear my wisdom of drear come closer now as I take a bow this is all just for now.στην πόρτα του δωματίου

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