As I Lay Here

I've come to the conclusion that I really just don't give a damn,it makes no sense anylonger. As hard as I've tried to care about peoples problems it is no use because I still couldn't care less. Yes I know how cruel, but honesty is generosity and it makes life so much easier. So no I don't give a damn about your pain nor your suffering whether your family or not I generally don't care. Nor will I ever care the only things I've come to care for are the books in which I read or buy. If you haven't figured out by now yes I had a horible childhood and thus have lost most of my emotions. Now you may be thinking "how is that possible?" well trust me it is I of all people should know its like I've had all my sensitive girl emotions riped out of my skull. Now if you ask my family of course they will tell you I had the greatest childhood in the world, except for the fact that they don't know a damn thing about my childhood. You see they were not me and therefore know nothing of what happened to me when i was younger. But lets not go down this dreadfully annoying road, but as I was saying I have no feminine emotion really left in me. At times it gets quite annoying when people you know come up to you with all their silly little twit problems and you can't even pretend you know what to do because honestly you don't. But it isn't always bad really because you start to realize how ridiculus it would have been to care about someone who you don't even likes' problems. It also becomes fun saying no to people who desperatley need you for something. I've also come to the conclusion that I love, absolutely love being the "bad guy" or villian because there are so many things you do that make everything worthwhile. Such as telling someone the truth they don't want to hear,oh how that makes me feel wonderful. But of course nothing can compare to making someone feel like a complete idiot, see now I'm all warm inside just thinking about it. But this is all for now until I write next, Beidh muid ag freastal ar.

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